We all have a bit of superficiality in us.

Judging a book by its cover and all that jazz.

I mean, if you name your child Lucifer von Satanstein the 666th, it not only means you probably have some serious issues to deal with (and almost certainly have no business reproducing), it also clearly does not bode well for said kid’s general demeanour.

One could say the same for poor, hapless Sparkle Kitten McUnicorn-Fluff.

I’m sorry, there’s something terribly wrong with me today.

Point: Names can be important.

In food terms, a name can make or break a particular food or dish, i.e. I have yet to have an encounter with a spaghetti squash, purely because it sounds like a slimy, stringy fruit thing from hell and the extreme squash lover in me knows it has much more attractive sounding options to work with, such as butternut, acorn, and pumpkin.

I’m not proud, I’m illustrating the point.

You’re going to be more interested in Angel Food Cake than a Knuckle Sandwich, right?


So when I was making this batch of Chocolate Revel Bars, I got to wondering what the “revel” bit was in there for.

These easy peasy, decadent little beasties are basically a head-on collision between syrupy-sweet oats and gooey, fudgy chocolate. Why not call them Chocolate Goo Bars and get on with it? That was my thinking – until I tried one.

There is nothing but nothing ‘get on with it’ about eating one of these. It will – will – colonise various bits of your hands and face, as well as the face and garments of anyone you happen to snog during or after the fact.

But it won’t matter. You will be too busy revelling – revelling in the sticky, chocolately, crunchy, oaty amazingness. Trust me. And the person you got tasty finger prints all over can always do laundry, y’know?

So! Chocolate Revel Bars – geddit?

If you don’t quite get it now, make a batch, and you absolutely will.

Chocolate Revel Bars


Oat base:

  • 100g Butter
  • 200g Brown sugar, packed
  • 1/2 tsp Bicarb of soda
  • 1 Egg
  • 1 tsp Vanilla extract
  • 155g Plain flour
  • 122g Rolled oats

Chocolate filling:

  • 12g Butter
  • 200g Sweetened condensed milk
  • 125g Chopped dark chocolate
  • 1 tsp Vanilla extract
Preheat the oven to 175C.

Line an 8″ square pan with baking paper.

Cream together the butter, brown sugar, and bicarb until light and fluffy.

Add the egg and vanilla and mix until just combined.

Stir the flour and oats in by hand until just combined. I recommend a strong wooden spoon and a healthy dollop of elbow grease – the mixture will be a bit grumpy. In an oaty sort of way.

Press two thirds of the oat mixture into the bottom of the prepared pan.

To make the filling, place the butter, condensed milk, and chocolate in a small, heavy-bottomed saucepan and place over a low heat, stirring occasionally until melted and combined, then stir in the vanilla extract.

Pour and spread the chocolate mixture evenly over the layer of oats in the pan, and finish off by dotting the final third of the oat mixture over the top.

Bake for 18-20 minutes, or until the top is light brown and bubbling.

Cool completely before cutting into squares – the chocolate will be very gooey. I mean, very.

Essential instruction: Revel in the gooeyness, and don’t forget to lick your fingers. Unless you were considering seconds. Which you should be.

Seriously. Revel.

Otherwise you’ll just be a sheepish person with chocolate on your wrist watch and a few stray oats stuck to your chin.

Sheepish and dessert don’t go well together.

Shamelessness. That’s what we like around here.

You know, like how I shamelessly posted this rather than that cookie recipe I was teasing you about before…

Brazen. Truly.

Well, it’s almost that time of year again (we’ve been hanging out together for a year – I know!) so I’ve set some time aside to mourn the passing of my youth and get my bake on with some oh-hells-yes-you’re-welcome cookies.

Watch this space, fellow kitchen renegades.

Until then…

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